I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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