Duck Duck Cougar?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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