were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
