His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
