marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
