He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
