I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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