My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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