There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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