why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Found your dick twin last night
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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