dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
