We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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