You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
