he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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