I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
