Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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