No, you can still breathe under the balls.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
