did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
