She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
