If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
