So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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