Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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