she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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