...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
