Can i not drive my cunt home
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
