Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
