Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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