Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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