At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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