so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
