dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
