i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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