I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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