Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
