Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
