my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So many bounce houses so little time
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
