He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
