Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
