She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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