i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
