Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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