Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
