id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize