Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
