I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
