I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
