D3 body, D1 cock
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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