Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
