You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
someone owes me an orgasm
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
