I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
