Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
